Why Sam is not The Man

samcollieI’m going to come right out and say it. I have very little respect for Sam and I will absolutely spit chips if he is Sookie’s happy ending. Yes, I think he’s a Nice Guy. But even if the Viking was DEAD (you know…properly dead), I still wouldn’t be feeling it with Sam.

I am not buying Sam as Sookie’s happy ending in any make, shape or form.

Sam has done nothing to earn Sookie’s love
Sam has done little more in the books than whine about Sookie putting herself in danger, whine about her choice in men, and then sit around waiting for her to fall into his lap. He’s a lurker – less creepy in his lurking than Bill, but a lurker nonetheless. Sam’s a sweet guy, but can someone please tell me why he would deserve Sookie choosing him after everything that she has experienced? He had 5 years to make his move before Bill showed up. He didn’t. Then she suddenly became the supe version of a porn star, and still he has not had the balls to go after her with any conviction. What is wrong with him? There is a reason that his animal of choice is a dog when he shifts, and I’m not buying that it’s because most people like big puppy dog eyes. Dogs also put up with alot of shit for no return.  And while we’re on the subject of the proverbial, where is Sam when it hits the fan? He is almost never there.

If Sam is going to be the HEA, Charlaine needs to get this boy busy. He has been sitting on his backside pulling beers for nine books, while everyone else has practically killed themselves for Sookie. And I’m supposed to believe that he is worthy of her? Give me a break. Eric, Bill, Quinn, Calvin and even Alcide, have all stuck their necks out to save this woman’s bacon at some point. But not Sam. Nuh-uh. Yet I am supposed to take him seriously as a suitor? No Ms Harris, I will not. You have to show me more.

Sam is A Plant
From a story-telling perspective, I wonder if Sam’s role in this story is to provide an option for the readers who cannot accept the logistics of a long term human/vampire relationship – no matter who the vampire is. They wouldn’t invest in Eric, they wouldn’t invest in Bill…they wouldn’t invest in anything dead. The ageing issue, and the children issue are deal breakers for these readers. Sam provides an obvious solution to both of these dilemmas and keeps these readers invested in the story.

On my tin foil hat days, I wonder also if Sam is a plant – literally. Eric seems to know an awful lot about what goes on in Sookie’s life during the day and he also seems to show up at the oddest moments (like every time she lands her sorry arse in the hospital after yet another beating). We all know there is no love lost between Sam and Eric, but they have also shown that they are both capable of sucking it up where Sookie is concerned.   Is there is a reason Charlaine has all of these supes and weirdos showing up to see Sookie at work?  Is there a reason so much plot seems to play out at Merlottes, and especially in that goddamn parking lot?  It has bad mojo, and if I were Sookie I wouldn’t be setting one foot out there anymore without an armed guard.  OK I will grant you this theory is a bit out there. But seriously – how the hell does Eric know half of what he does about who comes to visit her and what is going on in her life?  There are too many examples of it to list – perhaps it’s another post – but I’m sure he has a man on the ground, and this has been going on since before the blood bond.

Sam can’t watch Sookie’s back

This one is a major problem for Sam. Let’s take stock of where Sookie stands right now. Her reputation as a telepath is universally known amongst both supes and humans. Also widely known in the supe world is the fact that her great grandfather is Head Honcho el Fae, she is the ongoing obsession and Achilles heel of a vampire sheriff to whom she is blood bonded, and she has a influential shifter of rock star status pursuing her to boot. She is in tight with the King of Nevada and his peeps. Let’s face it – our girl has a Rep. She is submerged in this world up to her neck, and she will never be able to just walk away from it. She doesn’t want to walk away from it either – for the first time in her life she is important instead of crazy to those around her. She likes the ego stroke, and the work she does appeals to her “inner helper”. Nope, the best Sookie can hope for is to find a way to live within this world safely, and to retain as much control as possible over her own life while doing so.

Sam has professed a sheer loathing for politics and he is not at all happy about Sookie’s involvement with the supe world in general. He could never stand beside her in the life she is destined to lead. And he doesn’t have the resources, the contacts or the wits to watch her back while she lives that sort of life either.

He dates women who have it in for Sookie
Callisto? Oh yes, that was a sound decision. Why not encourage the maenad that almost killed Sookie in the woods and then tried to send her bonkers.
Tanya? A spy sent by Debbie Pelt’s parents, in an attempt to get Sookie to slip that she committed a murder. Way to impress the object of your affections Sam – date women who want to do her in or get her thrown in jail. Not strong points in your favour.

Sookie doesn’t need Sam’s sperm donation
“Sookie wants babies” is apparently the deal breaker for her being with a vampire – and by inference the strongest point in Sam’s favour.
Sookie is many things – but she is not recklessly irresponsible. Particularly when it comes to family. Sookie’s notoriety within the supernatural community means that she might as well paint a target on the kids forehead and sit them in the middle of Club Dead for some supe to come and claim. Her children will never be safe, and they will make her vulnerable as well. Does she really want children anyway? Or is it just that before her life took the turn it did, she thought children and marriage was the most she could aspire to as a small town barmaid? Much has changed since that Sookie was calling the shots, and in the later books she hasn’t been clucking like she used to. Sorry folks, there will be no itty bitty booties for our girl. Which brings me to….

Hunter – the kid with substitute child written all over him
From the moment Hunter, Sookie’s telepathic nephew by her cousin Hadley – appeared on the page, Team Pro-Vampire sat up and took notice. Here we have a child with Sookie’s abilities, a dead mother, and a father who clearly has no freaking idea what he has on his hands…much less how to defend him until he is old enough to take care of himself. This child is already a target – albeit a dormant one for now, and he already needs protection. Taking on Hunter is a far cry from making the decision to bring a child of her own into the dangerous world she inhabits.

My prediction – towards the end of the series, Remy will die (possibly defending Hunter from a kidnap attempt or worse once he ends up on the supe radar), and Sookie will spend a whole book tracking him down and hunting Remy’s killer. Sookie will then take Hunter in. Don’t you think that would make a nice parallel – the orphaned telepath takes on another orphaned telepath to raise and protect? I like it, but it can’t happen until the end. Sookie can’t be running around trying to get herself killed and screwing hot viking vampires on her kitchen table at all hours with a 4 year old in the house *snicker*.

I guess my overall problem with the idea of Sookie and Sam is that I’ve really seen nothing to convince me that either of them genuinely want each other in that “I have to have you” kind of way. Sam just feels like settling to me, when Sookie’s life and her destiny are calling for so much more from her. It would just feel like one big fat let down – like she went through all of those experiences only to end up where she started, and yet not really having come “full circle”. I want to see her grow and evolve as a person, embrace her talents, and be appreciated for them. Sookie is too much woman for Sam to handle, and I think he knows it.

22 Responses to “Why Sam is not The Man”

  1. 1 VampirePamsGirl
    November 11, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    I’m really coming to enjoy your SVM conspiracy theories, lol. But really you make some interesting and accurate points there. Especially about the children. We tend to get so caught up in wanting Sookie to have what she wants and she does really want children, but yeah it would be kinda stupid for her to do that. She has a hard enough time protecting herself and like you said she is too embroiled in the supe world now to be able to get out of it even if she wanted to; she’s on too many radars. Also a good point about Hunter-the replacement teacup. It will be interesting to see how he actually plays into the story in the later books. Another great post to read and get you thinking. Looking forward to more theories!

    • November 12, 2009 at 12:44 am

      Ha I have SO many conspiracy theories about this series it just isn’t even funny!

      I think you’re right about how we tend to get so caught up in Sookie getting what she wants – at the expense of being realistic about what she can actually have. I think Sookie herself has that problem!

  2. 3 VikingLover
    January 20, 2010 at 2:44 am

    Fantastic, Fantastic, Fantastic! Yes, Yes, Yes! You have taken every thought I’ve ever had about the “Sam Is The One” theory/argument and put it to prose! Love it! This makes sooo much sense to me and I too would feel extremely let down if Sookie would end up with Sam after all she has been through. Not because I love Eric so much, but because it would feel like settling to me AND it just wouldn’t make sense (after reading all 9 books) if Sam suddenly became Mr. Superhero and/or Sookie just woke up one day and said “holy crap, I love Sam!”. That would be weird and ridiculous.

    Also, he doesn’t really “get” Sookie in a lot of ways. He doesn’t seem to accept who she is (in some ways) and what she wants. He’s always telling her how he wishes she could get away from the supes but he never seems to hear her or accept when she tells him that in many ways she doesn’t want to give up the “supe” world. It’s as if Sam expects Sookie to feel that way (because he does) and just can’t accept that she just doesn’t. He often says that he wants nothing to do with the Supe world and its politics but guess what Sam, when you’re involved with Sookie you will ALWAYS be involved with the Supe World and its politics. Even if Eric steps away and lets Sam have her (which is one of my worries in my dark “omgwhatifitsnoteric” moments), Eric will always be in the wings protecting Sookie. This would certainly be a thorn in the side of any romantic relationship between Sookie and Sam.

    Sam is a very nice guy and a good friend but he cannot protect Sookie nor could he protect Sookie and Hunter (if it came to that). He wouldn’t survive! How many times have Eric, Quinn, and Bill taken bullets, arrows, silver, etc. for Sookie? Sam can’t really heal himself as well can he? He did step up to the plate once, during the “Were War” but that was it.

    Of course, I’m still nervous that we’re all completely off base and it will be Sam in the end. Especially after reading the first Chapter of Book 10 when Sookie says that Eric is overwhelming. Sam is definitely not overwhelming! Scary. 😦

    About Sam being a “plant”, that’s a great theory! I don’t know if Sam would report back to Eric though – he hates Eric. I think it’s Bill that is forced to report back to Eric about Sookie happenings. However, I do find it interesting that Sam always seems to know what’s going on in the Supe world. Even Dr. Ludwig tells Sookie at the end of DAG, when she’s treating her wounds and Sookie inquires if Sam knows about what happened, “I don’t know. I imagine so. He seems to hear everything”. I always found that interesting. For someone who wants to be kept away from the Supe world and its politics, Sam sure seems to know an awful lot about its “goings on”! Maybe Sam is the Ambassador of the Supe world! 🙂

    • 4 Pogonip
      January 20, 2010 at 2:53 am

      It worries me somewhat because CH had Tara settle for JB. A truly loveless match, but a safe one. Could it be that she ranks safety above all?

      • January 20, 2010 at 12:01 pm

        I think Tara’s choosing JB was a natural evolution of her story though. Tara’s experiences with supes left her battered, abused, fearful. She ran away from all of that and so it made sense in a way that it was straight to the arms of Mr Reliable…the safe choice.
        I thought it worked for Tara.
        Sookie doesn’t run away. I don’t believe she’ll ever step away from the world she is involved in now.

    • January 20, 2010 at 12:24 pm

      About Sam being a “plant”, that’s a great theory! I don’t know if Sam would report back to Eric though – he hates Eric. I think it’s Bill that is forced to report back to Eric about Sookie happenings. However, I do find it interesting that Sam always seems to know what’s going on in the Supe world. Even Dr. Ludwig tells Sookie at the end of DAG, when she’s treating her wounds and Sookie inquires if Sam knows about what happened, “I don’t know. I imagine so. He seems to hear everything”.

      Since I wrote this piece a few months back I’ve re read FDTW and I’m more convinced than ever that there is something going on with Sam. He is suspicious as all get out in that book. As you say, for someone who says they want nothing to do with supe politics he knows alot. When he started telling Sookie all about FDC and his business dealings before Sookie ever even MET him…um hello!? Perhaps he is less of a loner than we have been led to believe. Maybe he is much more powerful/influential than he is willing to admit. Perhaps someone else is just keeping him in the loop. But DEFINITELY something going on here, no doubt in my mind.

      I found it really suspicious that Sam called Eric in when Sookie was upset about having to break Calvin’s hand. It’s suspicious that Eric has been shut up in Sam’s office talking to him in conversations Sookie is not privy to. It’s suspicious that somehow Sam ended up tied up in the parking lot with Eric and FDC when they were attacked by Siegbert. It’s suspicious that Eric seems to know about who comes to see Sookie at Merlotte’s before she tells him. There’s too much we don’t know about Sam. Yes Sam hates Eric and I don’t think that this arrangement is necessarily voluntary for Sam’s part. He certainly wouldn’t like it or be happy about it, he may be doing it recognising that it’s the best way to keep Sookie safe, or perhaps Eric has something over him. God knows the man has secrets, maybe Eric knows some of them.

      Sam’s getting a girlfriend in DITF. Can’t be good news for Sookie either going by his track record.

      • 7 Holby
        January 28, 2010 at 10:41 pm

        I am so glad someone else is identifying the possibility that Sam is not what he appears. The points you make that I second: Always knows what is going on; has private conversations with vamps (he and Bill were talking before Bill and Sookie ever hooked up as a couple, private talks with Eric). Add in the fact that he questions Niall’s use of Eric to meet Sookie AND his ability to mask his scent. What about the fact that Sweetie never identified Sam as a shifter???? She was with him all the time at work, how could she have missed his scent when she could smell shifter on Sookie from across a parking lot? Is he a true shifter? A faerie who is able to shift? Or some as yet undefined supe? The only physical relationship he has had in the books is with a Maenad, for goodness sake. Isn’t that a bit odd??? I am nearly desperate to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this!

        • 8 walgigi
          January 29, 2010 at 2:41 am

          “Add in the fact that he questions Niall’s use of Eric to meet Sookie AND his ability to mask his scent. What about the fact that Sweetie never identified Sam as a shifter???? She was with him all the time at work, how could she have missed his scent when she could smell shifter on Sookie from across a parking lot? Is he a true shifter? A faerie who is able to shift? Or some as yet undefined supe? The only physical relationship he has had in the books is with a Maenad, for goodness sake. Isn’t that a bit odd???”

          Not just a bit, but very VERY odd Holby. I completely agree with you.

          • 9 walgigi
            January 29, 2010 at 3:07 am

            I forgot to add that is also very odd that Sam is the kind of shifter that can shift into any kind of “animal” he wants, while all others shifters are clasified on specific groups because genetically they are only allowed to shift into just one specific animal. I has never read a rational explanation for this odd difference.

            • 10 Holby
              January 30, 2010 at 6:56 pm

              Oh, and wait…adding to the “Sam is neither a human nor a shifter” theory that I have…in DUD, Sam is not familiar with Elvis. He states that Arlene was going on about the vampire at Sookie’s “looking like some singer.” WTF??? And then Bill defends him for running with the maenad by saying that it is hard for Bill to find others like himself. Really? Subsequent books clearly show us that there are shifters everywhere, and particularly concentrated in the Bon Temps area, and shifters easily identify each other by scent, so he had to know that there were others about. Perhaps another question that Sookie should have asked Bill when she had the chance.

              • 11 VikingLover
                January 30, 2010 at 7:10 pm

                Wow, Holby and Walgigi, you guys have blown my mind with this theory! I never considered that Sam could be another type of supe. Sort of like the short story “Gift Wrap”.

                • 12 Holby
                  January 30, 2010 at 7:29 pm

                  Oh, VikingLover…your first post above reminded me of something else. When Sam got shot, wouldn’t a shifter have healed that broken leg in a much shorter time? And a shifter isn’t as strong as a Vamp, but Sam didn’t even make a decent showing against Bill and is really lucky he didn’t get his throat torn out.
                  He’s a plant. A supe of a different nature. Who does he report to? Where did he get all of his money? His dad left him an inheritance, but enough for the bar and three duplexes? And how much other property does he own? What other group of Supes owns so much in the human world? Vamps and, oh, yeah, Fairies! I was also thinking of the “Gift Wrap” story.

                  • 13 Kealeagh
                    January 30, 2010 at 9:44 pm

                    All these theories have finally made me somewhat interested in Sam. I always saw him as a blank void. If any of these are true then whooey, I’m excited.

  3. 14 VikingLover
    January 20, 2010 at 2:45 am

    PS “From the moment Hunter, Sookie’s telepathic nephew by her cousin Hadley – appeared on the page, Team Pro-Vampire sat up and took notice.” – I loved that!!! Yes, so true! *sigh*

  4. 15 VikingLover
    January 20, 2010 at 3:02 am

    @Pogonip: I don’t think so because Sookie reacted to JB and Tara’s hookup in a somewhat negative way. She thought to herself that she never wanted that for herself – the settling part that is. I think, if I’m not mistaken, that Sookie thought, at some point during her inner musings, : “at least Eric is never boring” – or something along those lines. She also makes a big deal to describe how Tara will always have to take the lead and be the responsible one. I’m going to go look in the books for the actual paragraph because I think it’s something along the lines of how Tara will always have to be the provider/one in charge.

  5. 16 Maria
    March 2, 2010 at 4:50 am

    A lot of interesting theories here. I like Sam but I don’t see him and Sookie getting together as well. I see Sam as Sookie’s best guy friend. At the beginning of the series she used to say that she was attracted to him and then I noticed that she hasn’t mentioned any feelings like that for the past few books. He’s a guys she can talk to since he’s a part of the supernatural world (Jason’s too self absorbed). Plus Sookie really values his opinion; she practically bursts into tears if he makes her feel bad with some comment. He’s always trying to talk her out of doing something she wants to do. Their relationship works as a good friendship.
    I also think there’s more to Sam because he does know alot about what’s going on in the supernatural world for someone who claims to be uninvolved.
    And Sam needs a girlfriend who doesn’t hate Sookie…I hope in the next book…I’m tired of him being an option for Sookie.
    I just have to say it was pretty bad ass when he turned into a lion to protect Sookie.

  6. 17 Freyja
    April 17, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I agree with Maria, lots of intresting theories here. I can’t see Sookie with Sam, it would never work, the only threat I see is Quinn, which I loath!!
    Has CH said anything about Sookie will not end up with a vampire? That’s what a friend of mine is telling me all the time, but hopefully not 😦

  7. 21 Charlotte
    April 23, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    I absolutely LOVE this post. I never thought of Sam as anything special. He was sort of a filler character for me, someone who just got in the way, and CERTAINLY not a contender for Sookie’s HEA. But this theory puts Sam in a whole new light for me. I am working of re-reading the whole series right now and the first thing I picked up on was that Sam is most definitely not what he seems. I love the some new type of supe theory! It fits the information we know about Sam and what has been said of him. Excellent speculating everyone! I love this blog and all of your wonderful theories to keep me busy!

  8. May 13, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    I’m coming to this discussion a lot late (but with ‘Dead in the Family’ fresh in my mind).

    I am in total accordance with your Sam theory. Especially because reading Charlaine Harris’s backlist has *convinced* me that Sam is a plant.

    If you read Harris’s other two series ‘Aurora Teagarden’ and ‘Lily Bard’, there are actually a few parallels to the Sookie series that have been informing my theories for some time now… Mainly concerning the introduction of the heroine’s HEA’s.

    **Slight spoilers ahead of the ‘Aurora’ and ‘Lily’ series**

    In both ‘Aurora Teagarden’ and ‘Lily Bard’, the female protagonists spend at least 2 or 3 books dating around (they’re not slutty, just women with healthy sex lives). It wasn’t until book #3 of ‘Aurora Teagarden’ and book #2 of ‘Lily Bard’ that the women’s HEA stepped onto the scene. And in both cases the HEA was a brand-spankin, never before introduced character… in both series he literally swept the heroine off her feet.

    I’m now convinced that Ms. Harris follows a pattern when writing love stories for her heroines… and knowing Aurora’s and Lily’s romantic fates, I can’t help but see similarities for Sookie.
    All three women have ex-boyfriends who are still on the scene long after their use-by-date. All three women have at least one male ex-boyfriend/friend who was a fan favorite but didn’t end up getting the girl (I am convinced this will be Eric’s fate).

    I don’t think Sam is Sookie’s HEA – but only because I think her HEA has yet to be introduced. I firmly believe Harris will follow the ‘Aurora Teagarden’ and ‘Lily Bard’ framework and introduce Sookie’s ‘one true love’ out of the blue and give Sookie (and fans) a shock.

    Just my 2 cents.

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My ramblings on the Sookie Stackhouse books, and the HBO series True Blood. Everyone I know is already half crazed with my plot and character assassinations, conspiracy theories, theme explorations and general obsessing, so now I'm going to share it all with you. Spoilers and Viking worship are rampant...you have been warned!

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