Five Minutes with Book Sook – Some Words of Advice

I spend more of my time on forums ranting and raving about Sookie than I really should. As the main character of this story, I love her alot – she’s feisty, smart when it counts, independent and funny. Yet sometimes I could happily wring her neck. Reading these books I find myself cursing and yelling at her more than any other character. Even more than Bill.

This is only because I love her and I just want what’s best for her. And she clearly has no idea most of the time about what that is.

So in the name of some cathartic release, if I had five minutes alone with Book Sookie this is what I would most like to tell her.

And put their number on speedial. Seriously honey, you are obviously suffering from PTSD and no one blames you for this one little bit. Now you need to own it and you need to deal with it. In a few short years you’ve had your grandmother murdered, your house half burnt down, your brother go missing and then turned into a werepanther, your boss get shot and one of your best friends try to kill you. You’ve blown someone to hell with a shotgun, staked your boyfriend’s vampire ex, disposed of dead bodies, been bashed more times than I can count, shot, poisoned, bitten, staked and kidnapped. Your first love screwed around on you, attempted to rape and drain you, and then sold you out in the worst possible way. Your rebound guys after this horrible betrayal were a snobby werewolf and a tiger with mommy issues.

None of this is normal honey. Normal people don’t live like this. You really need to talk with someone.

Okay, you’ve done pretty well to survive thus far and at a pinch, you can certainly hold your own in a fight. But I’d really feel so much better if you’d let the experts teach you how to take care of yourself. Your propensity for attracting trouble means your luck is only going to hold out for so long. While we’re on the subject of your personal safety, you might also think about moving into town. Your yard seems to have become a supernatural freeway of late, and those woods aren’t so great either. If nothing else, you’ll make it harder for Bill to lurk outside listening while you’re having the hottest sex of your life. If he tries that in town, someone will surely call the cops on his creeper arse.

Nothing good ever happens there. Your boyfriend got attacked and drained. You got bashed to within an inch of your life. Your boss got shot. Your other boyfriend and his King got attacked and you had to go back and save them by yourself. NOTHING GOOD. Stay away. Go into work through the front entrance or something.

I know he’s all you’ve got, and I strongly suspect he’s trying to work his way back into your good graces as we speak. You don’t need him. He’s a selfish, immature, impulsive, unreliable, stupid man-whore. Have I made that clear enough? Every man that cares about you – Niall, Eric, Sam…hell, even Bill – can’t stand him. That should tell you everything you need to know, right there.

Let’s talk about Tara, Arlene and Amelia. We all know Arlene is a complete bust, and I don’t think you’re going to argue with me there. Tara is self absorbed, vain and quite frankly a bit dim. Amelia…we need to talk about Amelia another time. I don’t think you should trust her as much as you do, and I’m even more suspicious of her daddy. Suffice to say, you suck at picking friends.

Embrace your ability, and stop berating yourself and your talents. You’ve done some rather amazing things in the last two years, young lady. Yes, you’ve killed people or been indirectly responsible for people being killed – but you have also saved many lives and done alot of good things with this gift you seem to loathe so much. If you’re nothing special, then why is half the supernatural community of North America practically killing eachother over you huh? Haven’t got an answer for that, have you?

and finally…

You knew this was going to come up. He might let you dodge this conversation over and over, but I will not. We are going there and it’s for your own good.

Here is what you need to do.

Get in that piece of crap car of yours and drive straight to Shreveport. Try not to kill anyone or get in any fights along the way. Can you do that? Of course you can.

March straight through the front door of that club and tell Pam he’s not taking any calls on your way past. Head for his office and slam the door shut behind you. Haul him out from behind that desk, shove him up against the nearest wall (all that vampire blood should come in handy here) and HAVE YOUR FUCKING WAY WITH HIM.

He will love it.

Stop thinking so much and just DO IT.

Got all that? Good. Now for the really important part. When you’re done, you sit your arse down and let the man talk. He’s been trying to tell you for at least two books now how he feels about you, and you keep shooting him down in flames. I know you’re scared of hearing it. I know you think you can’t measure up or you aren’t good enough for him or whatever else. I know you don’t want to go there again after Bill and we sure don’t blame you for that – Bill was an arsehole and that’s public knowledge. But honey, it’s too late. You’re there, whether you like it or not. You had it for him bad before the blood bond ever happened so stop questioning everything you feel for him, and just start trusting. You let him get all up close and personal before the curse and before the blood bond…and you liked it. Just quit the angst, it’s getting old. Let him tell you how he feels. Let him hear how you feel – how you really feel. Just do that one little thing for me and see what happens ok?

I have a feeling it might be something beautiful.

Got anything to add? We could probably keep her here for another five minutes if I’ve missed something…

22 Responses to “Five Minutes with Book Sook – Some Words of Advice”

  1. 1 Stef
    December 18, 2009 at 11:33 am

    WOW…that’s the main thing I want to convey here. Can I just say I love your topics and your writing skills! PROPS!! That last little topic about the relationship avoidance would make for awesome literature!! If there is someone from CH’s entourage (or CH herself) who searches for input and topics for her books, they should read your blog!!

    But yes, Sookie should give Eric a chance to explain his feelings. She will be able to finally become more closer to him intimately (beyond the whole blood bond and sex). And maybe…just MAYBE this will keep her out of at least a tiny bit of trouble. I think if they were really “together” in the same house everyday he could protect her better than he has and she wouldn’t be getting kidnapped or beaten up at every turn. Maybe she should even move to Shreveport and get as far away as she can from Bill. That will definetely keep Mr. Skulky out of her life for a change.

    But mostly, I want to see Sookie and Eric in another steamy sex scene (ok, maybe 2, or 3…you get the idea). Can’t wait for the next book!

  2. 2 pbsTMI
    December 18, 2009 at 11:43 am

    What a marvelous post. I’ve wanted to say all those things to her! With a special Amen! to the part about seeing a shrink. PTSD for sure!

    Although it would have to be a vampire shrink because hearing the thoughts of your lover/boyfriend is nothing compared to hearing the thoughts of your psychiatrist. Yikes!

    (ps, I think I may be showing up as caratstick now, but I was formerly known as pbsTMI)

  3. 4 ksr
    December 18, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    ‘3. AVOID MERLOTTE’S PARKING LOT’ And library as well!
    Well I agree!!! As a good girl I agree – we should take care of her and give her all these valuable advises… BUT like a selfish beach… oh, sorry, like interested reader I’m disagree – what if she’ll follow our advices – we wouldn’t have any chance to see next 4 books?!!! ))))))
    And I’m real coward (or pessimist, or realist even worse) so I’m not sure (like Sookie) that I really ready to hear Eric’s point of view. So I’m prefer to be uncertain about it as long as it possible…ups…((

  4. 5 nskars
    December 18, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    One of the things that disheartens me about Sookie is the fact that she refers to her telepathy as a disability. I hate that and I think it’s really sad that she talks about it like that.

    After reading point #6, I honestly don’t know how anyone can think Sookie belongs to anyone other than Eric. Just… please. Bill, Alcide, Quinn… they don’t even belong in the same realm as Eric.

    And hell, if I had Eric Northman protecting/pursuing/declaring ownership of me, it wouldn’t take me 1 paragraph of 1 book to get on that.

  5. December 18, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    And hell, if I had Eric Northman protecting/pursuing/declaring ownership of me, it wouldn’t take me 1 paragraph of 1 book to get on that.

    Hell, yes.

  6. 9 ksr
    December 18, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    “…Even if he only wanted me for my body and my telepathy…” ‘Amen!’ like pbsTMI will say!))) That’s my point of view – if that kind of men like Eric exist who really cares about his motivations? Just come and take me, promise, I wouldn’t ask you ‘what reasons do you have’! ;))))))))

  7. December 18, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    You got it right for sure!

  8. 11 VampirePamsGirl
    December 18, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    @sookieverseblog You see? That stuff right there is why I wholeheartedly seconded the nomination to put you in charge of writing our HEA when/if CH messes it up. That right there, with a few other plot points thrown in, sounds like a wonderful start for the final Sookie book! And that last point sounds like a wonderful beginning to the HEA we all want.

  9. 12 walgigi
    December 19, 2009 at 3:09 am

    Why would she ever needed to pay a shrink if she already have you??? HAHHAAHA!! Seriously, I have always admire your sharp and deep insight with the SVM and this excellent assesment is just another proof of it (and this without talking about your excellent writing skills, I knew what I was doing when I put you in charge of writing the last 4 books for nothing 😉 lol!).

    I usually don’t rant against book Sookie. I would be lying (big time) if I say she never frustrate me and doesn’t makes me want to punch her lol. But her behavior always has been within the reasonable expectations I have of her considering how deeply rooted is her self-esteem trauma and the “masculine figure” issues she has. I mean, she hear another people’s thoughts, she is a telepaht. She isn’t normal.

    Being not normal doesn’t mean it is bad, it just means is different because it’s separated from the larger group called norm in the statistical model of a periodic curve (sorry for the statistic lesson lol). But when this norm is composed by people, things change drastically because PEOPLE are the only beings in this planet that are able to be cruel AT WILL rejecting other people who aren’t normal like them (although my “wishful thinking” is that most of them are cruel because of their ignorance). And, sadly, for most of the people who aren’t normal, this cruelty begins at childhood. They has been called disable (and we all know this is one of the less cruel adjectives used) for a long time and are classified as minorities (notice the lessen effect this word has itself) just because they are different. In fact this is the key element behind the SMV success, because everyone, at least once in their lifetimes know how is feel to be discriminated and been consider part of a minority.

    That’s why book Sookie consider her gift as a disability. That’s why is easier for her to deal with other “minority” groups than with normal people. That’s why she is always longing for a normal life. Take a little girl with a distrubing and confusing gift as the telephaty and all the fear, prejudice and discrimination that this entails. Mix it with the lost of her parent and the abandon feeling that leaves their death, a selfish brother and the sexual abuse from a uncle (her only masculine figures left for her). Mix again with all the hurt and dissapointment boys caused her at her teen age, and crown it with the deep and painful wound her first love thrusted in her when broke her heart once she discovered he left her for another woman and was just using her (not to mention he also raped her). Then, as a finishing touch add all the details contained at 1.SEE A SHRINK. Beleive me, the result isn’t Sookie, it’s a clinic case much more worse than her, that not only needs a shrink for the rest of her life, but a complete psychiatric institution for a long time.

    After all that, she’s still feisty, smart, independent and funny as you said. Despite that the life has wounded her soul and the world has wounded her body, Sookie always stands up again and nothing could break her spirit. She is a survivor. And that’s why we all love her.

    • 13 walgigi
      December 19, 2009 at 3:12 am

      **I knew what I was doing when I put you in charge of writing the last 4 books (WITHOUT “for nothing”, please LOL).

    • 14 nskars
      December 19, 2009 at 10:44 am

      Wow. You’ve really made me stop and think about absolutely everything she went through even before she became involved in the Supe world.

    • December 20, 2009 at 6:25 am

      Despite that the life has wounded her soul and the world has wounded her body, Sookie always stands up again and nothing could break her spirit. She is a survivor. And that’s why we all love her.

      Perfectly said.

  10. December 19, 2009 at 4:16 am



    Sorry, I totally spaced after “have your fucking way with him”… *gets that glassy-eyed look again*

  11. 17 Dan
    December 20, 2009 at 12:14 am

    Do you guys think Eric was wanting to say in the “afterglow” of that intense book#9 scene “Sookie, I love you. I have never felt this way in a 1,000 years.” ? She brings out the human in him, which may include the fear of rejection. Also, do you guys think she realizes just how PWd Eric is?

    • December 20, 2009 at 3:50 am

      I *wish* he said “I love you””..if he did things would be a helluva lot clearer. I think he does love her but isn’t able to recognise the emotion yet. It’s coming. That convo after the book 9 scene was very telling. He’s completely confused about where to go next with her, he doesn’t know what she wants but he’s trying very hard to work it out and I give him some credit for that 😉

      I don’t think Sookie has a clue about how much power she really has over him, she’s quite happy to be in denial for now. It suits her emotionally to stick her head in the sand when it comes to Eric – that’s why she never gives him credit for anything good he does, it’s her way of keeping him at a safe distance. Anything good he does for her is usually attributed to his desire to bed her or control her.

      He put her safety before his bar and his underlings in DAG and that was huge. It was a stupid move – politically speaking – to go to her house when the takeover happened. But he did it anyway. That’s probably the first time ever I can recall him acting out of pure gut feeling and against his own interests. You couldn’t argue that there was anything in it for him, even Victor was surprised to see him there instead of in Shreveport. She’s got him by the balls now, for sure.

      That’s my take on it anyway.

    • 19 VampirePamsGirl
      December 20, 2009 at 9:15 pm

      That’s what I want to think that he was saying to, but I don’t know. You have a good point about the fear of rejection. I’m sure it’s probably been a long, long, long time (if ever) since Eric has put himself in a position to be vulnerable to rejection or being emotionally hurt. And it’s not like Sookie has really been very encouraging there either; she’s been fighting him just about every step of their relationship. When they had that conversation when he wanted her to move in with him, I always felt like he was really wanting her to say that she loved him or to give him a clear indication of her feelings. I have to agree with sookieverseblog though that when it comes to Eric, in more ways than one, Sookie is floating along that river in Egypt!

  12. 20 Dan
    December 22, 2009 at 1:04 am

    I think if Eric demonstrates a few acts of love that she can not attribute to the blood bond, she will start treating him like book #4

  13. 21 Holby
    January 29, 2010 at 4:34 am

    How about #7. Ask questions about the stuff that you think, “I wondered what he meant by that.” or the things you think,”I was going to have to think about that further.” No…Just ask the clarifying questions and find out what the heck they mean. Might save at least a beating or two per book!

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My ramblings on the Sookie Stackhouse books, and the HBO series True Blood. Everyone I know is already half crazed with my plot and character assassinations, conspiracy theories, theme explorations and general obsessing, so now I'm going to share it all with you. Spoilers and Viking worship are rampant...you have been warned!

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