Archive for the 'Random' Category


“Dead in the Family” House Rules – Please Read

So we all know that I can’t moderate this blog to save my own life. Comments frequently end up wildly off topic as we chase some theory or other down the rabbit hole…which is mostly just how I like it.

But with a steady increase in traffic here and posts even speculating about the new book usually reaching 200+ comments, we are going to have to have some order around here come May 4th. Or chaos will reign.

* * * * *

If you plan to participate in discussion of the new book, PLEASE READ.
Read More…


Wanted – Starving Artist

I’m looking for someone who can make awesome, non-cheesy fan art. Or just someone who otherwise rocks at Photoshop or whatever the hell it is that people use nowadays for that shit.

I want to make a new banner for the blog and I FAIL at graphics. I also need some help with an Eric/Sookie related project I’m working on with an amazingly talented person, that requires some pictorial input.

If you, or someone you know might be interested in collaborating, PLEASE PLEASE email me:

sookieverse at fastmail dot fm

I can’t pay you, because I don’t make any money from this blog. I like it that way…I get to say what I like and don’t have to CENSOR COMMENTS that might upset the delicate sensibilities of my sugar daddy, or my readership. Not that other fanblogs or sites would ever CENSOR COMMENTS.


But alas, the downside of shooting your mouth off at will is that you get shunned and therefore have to sometimes beg for assistance. Fortunately, I am not above this 🙂

If you can help, I will pimp you to hell and back in any way you see fit.

I’m a shameless whore like that.


I’m not dead….

Just a brief post to let everyone know I’m still alive.

I have a TON of stuff going on at work right now, and the next couple of weeks are going to involve lots of long days and overtime.

Unfortunately this will mean the blog will be a little quieter than usual for bit – I just don’t have time to write decent posts though I’m still keeping an eye on True Blood/SVM news (what there is of it at the moment!).

But I promise, in a couple of weeks when all of this work stuff is out of the way it will be business as usual and daily posts will return.

I really appreciate everyone who stops by here to read and comment. I just want you all to know that.


“Horrid Inevitability”

“There was a slight difference in the way he looked up at me in the next moment, and I had a feeling of horrid inevitability – like when you see your car begin to roll downhill…and you know there’s no way you can catch up to it and put on the brakes, no matter how much you want to. That car is gonna crash.”
~Sookie, Dead to the World~

Why do I think of that quote every time I see pictures of these three together?

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Interview with a Sympathizer

Rebecca Wilcott is seeking responses through her website for a SVM/True Blood questionnaire.

She intends to include the best responses in her book, Truly, Madly, Deadly: The Unofficial True Blood Companion to be published later this year. She will also reproduce responses on her website.

Since I can’t legally get my hands on Alan Ball’s throat, I intend to use this as a form of free psychotherapy. A qualified professional is too expensive.

An example of one of the questions:

Between the novels and the series, which deviations have you noted? Which do you like, and which do you dislike?

Go on, go nuts.

You can complete the questionnaire here.


I Could Never Read The Shower Scene Aloud

No, Charlaine. Just NO.

You all know how much I love these books. You know that I do.

Love them as I may, sometimes Charlaine writes sentences that still make me cringe and giggle even though I have read them so many times I’ve lost count. If you’ve ever freaked out (and I know you have) at Charlaine likening Sookie’s breasts to quivering puppies, at the repeated offence of using the word “topography” in a sex scene, or at her disturbing fondness for bestowing pet names on Eric’s dick – then you might get a laugh out of this.

Bradeatspeeps is a big fan of the books, and True Blood. When True Blood is airing she posts weekly episode recaps on her LiveJournal. I read these at work with my office door closed, so that my howling can’t be heard in the hallway. I’ve been known to totally stalk her LJ – I just love her sense of humour and her take on the series and characters. It doesn’t hurt either that she shares my love for a certain tall, blonde swede.

You can read her recap of Timebomb – the second most awesome episode of True Blood ever – here.

Anyway, she has some “issues” with both Charlaine’s writing style and saying sexy words, so a friend dared her to read aloud this most revered piece of Sookie/Eric canon…filled with dirty words, cringe inducing sexual metaphors, and primal lust. This video is the result.

This is so hilarious to me because I just know that if I ever attempted to do this, I’d be squirming as badly as she is. I think I have a sick sense of humour.

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Alexander Skarsgard – Men Don’t Eat Chocolate Mousse

This is a short story Alexander Skarsgard wrote in 2002 for inclusion in an anthology published in Sweden.

This story seems to have been floating around the internet for quite some time. I am somewhat slow on the uptake it seems….I’ve never seen it before.

This piece is incredibly raw, awkward and personal. Yet his memories of losing his virginity – a defining moment we all experience – are intimate, and honest too. Nothing is lost in the translation.

A man of hidden talents, is our Skars. But we already knew that.

Men Don’t Eat Chocolate Mousse
With manhood and lost virginity follow a distaste for karate movies.
Alexander SkarsgĂĄrd 22 May 2002

Malin came from Gustavsberg, wore pink mascara, smelled of Date perfume and could put a whole packet of Hubba Bubba with licorice flavor in her mouth.

I came from Södermalm, admired MacGyver, wore a bomber jacket indoors and shaved every day to make my beard start growing. It was late in the summer of 1991 and it was around ten in the evening. The atmosphere in the living room was tense. Malin and her friends sat lined up in the white leather couch while me and my friends were pushed together around the dining table, which was situated at a comforting distance to the girls. Micke and Johan broke the embarrassing silence when they started wrestling on the floor. I felt good when something finally was happening and we all watched the wrestling match with excitement. The far heavier Micke immediately got the upper hand but the wrestling match came to a sudden stop when the combatants happened to roll over on Sara’s sprained foot. Sara suffered, Micke and Johan blushed and Malin, whose mum was a nurse, held a detailed lecture on the importance of keeping a sprained foot still. Putte, who loved to discuss, broke Malin’s lecture off. He claimed that his mum was a foot doctor and that a sprained foot on the contrary should be active. Wild debate arose.

I myself had no opinion on sprained feet, so I went into Malin’s room and put on a Roxette record. Soon Micke came in and asked me if we could share a beer he nicked from his brother. We felt terribly cool, sitting there sipping beer like Micke’s brother and his pals used to do. Micke turned up the volume on the stereo in the hopes that some of the girls would come in and see how cool we were. Soon Emma came in to ask us to turn it down. When she saw us drinking alcohol she started crying terribly and called us alcoholics. Micke comforted her and said that he could control his drinking (which, a few years later, he proved that he definitely couldn’t). Emma accepted this and she and Micke started making out.

Pretty soon they became breathless, and we played Super Mario Bros instead. Micke had just won when an excited Johan came barging in and told us that they were playing truth or dare in Malin’s mum’s bed. Anyone who has played truth or dare knows that it’s a wonderful game, because you get to hear a lot of half true dirty stories and you get to, most importantly, make out. A few seconds later I had joined the others in the bed. The half truths were already pouring out. Erik claimed, among others, that he had a girlfriend in Öland. This was a kindly put halftruth. Erik had certainly fallen in love with a girl he had seen in Borgholm some months earlier. The problem was just that she never saw him.

Soon I got my first question. It was Malin who wondered how many I had had sex with. Some critical seconds followed. Should I tell about my innocence or should I act experienced? I answered eight. The summer before Lisen Jacobsen had shown me her bare breasts on a rapeseed field in Denmark, but we had definitely not slept with each other. So eight was probably more of a lie than a half truth. The guys, who knew I lied, nodded in agreement the same way I did when they stretched the truth a little. The game went on for some time and then it died slowly down. One by one went out of the game.
Some went out and checked out a karate movie in the living room, and others started to whip up chocolate mousse in the kitchen. Soon me and Malin were alone in the bed.

– What do we do now?
– I don’t know, I answered really fast.

We were both into making out a little, but I was way too scared to take any initiative. We had certainly made out a few times during the game, but it was way harder now when we were alone in the enormous bed. Malin saved me by asking if I had tried the new lip gloss with strawberry taste. I answered no and Malin pressed her glossed, strawberry tasting lips against mine. We kissed for approximately as long as the strawberry taste lasted, then she whispered:

– Let’s do it.
I got all sweaty and felt dizzy. Malin continued:
– But be careful. I’ve never done it before.

The emotions sprayed out of my ears. Joy that I might be the first one among my friends who would lose my virginity, and terror that I might fail and that Malin would see through my lie about my earlier experiences. Both my hopes and my fears came true. We had sex in the end and I was the first one among my friends. But Malin probably started wondering what happened when I ruined two condoms before I even had them on. And when I tried to enter her somewhere between her knee and her hip, she was pretty convinced that my earlier experiences were made up. She helped me and I found the right place.

Ten seconds later we were lying next to each other looking up in the ceiling.

– It was the first time for you too, right?
I lay silent a while but realized that I could not cover another lie.
– Yes, I answered embarrassed.
– Don’t worry, I won’t tell the others.

She smiled at me and I smiled back. We were lying there in the weak light from the billboard on the other side of the street and smiled at each other. I was a man and I smiled at a woman. And on the other side of the bedroom door the snotty little kids were making chocolate mousse and watching a karate movie.

Original Swedish version
English Translation – Skarsgard News

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My ramblings on the Sookie Stackhouse books, and the HBO series True Blood. Everyone I know is already half crazed with my plot and character assassinations, conspiracy theories, theme explorations and general obsessing, so now I'm going to share it all with you. Spoilers and Viking worship are have been warned!

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