Home sweet (broken) home

In this week’s episode of True Blood, we learn that Tara will break you, fried chicken tastes better in the dark, everyone loves a vampire in uniform, and good help is hard to find…

Sink your teeth into some spoilery commentary after the jump…

Just Sayin’

3.01: Arlene – “I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, but honestly, who here hasn’t?”

You oughta know Arlene, since you were engaged to one.

3.02: Talbot – “I just redecorated the guest room. Wait until you see the bed…Bill, it’s marvellous! It once belonged to Countess Elizabeth Bathory, Hungary’s legendary serial killer.

Rumor has it, that she loved to torture virgins and bathe in their blood.”

OH REALLY??

Fast Facts: Elizabeth Bathory’s bloodlust was the stuff of legend. So legendary, in fact, that she is often compared to Vlad the Impaler – the historical figure upon whom Count Dracula is based.

JUST SAYIN’.

“Oh, Sookie” – Oh, Noes!

Hardcore Truebie Snoop Dogg has just posted this…erm…tribute to everyone’s favourite telepathic waitress on YouTube.

I’m still chuckling as I make this post.

I guess he decided if they won’t let him on the show he’d just make his own.

Thank you Snoop for sharing your dirty, pimpy Sookie fantasies with us…I think.

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Finale Spoiler Pics

Like almost everyone else around here I’m on a self-imposed, spoiler restricted diet right now.

Well, I thought I was. But then I saw these and, well…FUCK THAT.

I’m on it like a fat kid on cake.

I’ve hidden these juicy, ERIC-CENTRIC finale pictures for the benefit of those who have more self control than I.

It’s all been a pack of lies…I mean, wolves.

In this week’s Season 3 premiere of True Blood, we learn that serial killers need love too, Pam’s NOT a hooker, haircuts are for badasses, the water’s hard in Arkansas… and yes, vampires CAN grow beards…

Sink your teeth into some spoilery commentary after the jump…

3.02 “Beautifully Broken” Preview

Tara reverts to her former piss-tank alcoholic self, and Eric tells Sookie that he really couldn’t give a rats ass about what happens to Bill (and as usual Eric is one step ahead of the game. We all checked out of caring about what happens to Bill a WHOLE FUCKING SEASON AGO).

Sookie finally stops flapping her gums and starts using her brain, and OH HAI Franklin Mott – bringer of creepy sex and Bill Compton’s dirty secrets.

True Blood, Season 3 – Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

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3.01 Bad Blood – True Blood Season Premiere!

The Viking cometh once again to pillage your village...and make your other half wish every month was June.

Waiting has most certainly SUCKED, and nine torturous months is long enough. We’ve chewed up and spat out every True Blood spoiler and scrap, and when there was nothing official to go on – hell, we just made it up ourselves!

True Blood returns in around 12 hours, and this post has no purpose other than for us to fangirl (and fanboy), rage, and theorise as the the third season of Alan Ball’s “popcorn for smart people” is unleashed upon our already fragile and completely spoiled to-hell-and-back psyches.

As some of you know I’m not in the US and that makes it a little difficult to do episode recaps. Rest assured though, I will be kept up to speed via Twitter and my usual trusty spoilery sources until season 3 airs here in around 8 weeks time.

Even though I can’t recap, the archaic business model of corporate cable television will not be permitted to fuck with you getting your fix. Nuh-uh. To that end, I’m really excited to announce that our very own resident US Truebie, MASpencer will supply a weekly episode recap for us to screech and squee over. No doubt there’ll be some ranting and swearing involved too. Make sure you check in for these starting this coming Tuesday.

I’ve had so much fun tossing speculation around with all of you over the last six months – SVB readers are some of the coolest and most intelligent Truebies around. And if I can be a sap for just a second, I want to say thank you for the hilarity, and the insights. You have truly enriched my understanding and appreciation of this show.

So before we dive headlong into the insanity and teeth gnashing of the next 12 weeks, I guess I have only one thing left to say.

Alan Ball – if I get no other satisfaction this season, you have better give me a damn good reason for the hot mess you’ve made of Eric’s hair.

Just sayin’.

“I can protect you – or have passionate, primal sex with you…”

Well, NO WONDER Sookie was looking so fucking stupefied when she issued that invitation.

Quite obviously, she was floundering her way back to sanity through a swamp of lust ;).

Holy mother of HOT VIKINGS, she is not the only one.

Poor Sookie. Honey, you just don’t have a hope.

Source: Jussunique

Show us your fangs!

Eric gets all fangy up in Sookie’s face – and I have to say, Sookie doesn’t look particularly alarmed by this development.

This reminds me of 2.03 Scratches.

Whatevs Eric, you aren’t going to bite her and you know it.

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Entertainment Weekly Cast Photo

Here’s a scan from the new Entertainment Weekly courtesy of Sookehismine.

Gee, the way they’re arranging the cast for these things seems to be awfully different to last year, doesn’t it?

Oh, and also…HE HAS HIS HAND ON HER LEG.

*dies*

And this courtesy of DazedRose: